Dennie Smith was standing in a recreated WW1 trench when she had a revelation.
Dennie Smith was standing in a recreated WW1 trench when she had a revelation.
The self-confessed military history geek was on a trip with fellow enthusiasts and realised a big flaw in online dating apps. They didn't cater for the people peering over the rim of the trench with her.
The self-confessed military history geek was on a trip with fellow enthusiasts and realised a big flaw in online dating apps. They didn't cater for the people peering over the rim of the trench with her.
"A lot of dating sites are just about volume, and they include fake profiles that conceal scams," she says.
"A lot of dating sites are just about volume, and they include fake profiles that conceal scams," she says.
Smith, who owns a hairdressing salon in Croydon, south London, decided she needed to branch out into the dating business with a focus on "the big market of geeky people".
Smith, who owns a hairdressing salon in Croydon, south London, decided she needed to branch out into the dating business with a focus on "the big market of geeky people".
The founder of the Geek Meet Club wanted to bring like-minded people together and exclude the regiments of fakes she says have undermined online dating.
The founder of the Geek Meet Club wanted to bring like-minded people together and exclude the regiments of fakes she says have undermined online dating.
Vetting each applicant personally seems to please Smith. "I'm very good at spotting a fake. But sometimes it's easy, one person submitted a photo of Boris Johnson!"
Vetting each applicant personally seems to please Smith. "I'm very good at spotting a fake. But sometimes it's easy, one person submitted a photo of Boris Johnson!"
And she's happy to decline around 50 applicants a month rather than expose her 3,300 members to bad behaviour.
And she's happy to decline around 50 applicants a month rather than expose her 3,300 members to bad behaviour.
Geek Meet Club exists to bring dating back into the offline world. "We do events, monthly quizzes, and I want to hire venues so people can come in costume."
Geek Meet Club exists to bring dating back into the offline world. "We do events, monthly quizzes, and I want to hire venues so people can come in costume."
This nod to elaborate disguises, favoured by attendees at science fiction conventions, hints at Smith's core audience. "Comic and sci-fi conventions are a big pull for geeky people."
This nod to elaborate disguises, favoured by attendees at science fiction conventions, hints at Smith's core audience. "Comic and sci-fi conventions are a big pull for geeky people."
The idea is to get people meeting in person as quickly as possible because online dating has become a minefield littered with deception and frauds.
The idea is to get people meeting in person as quickly as possible because online dating has become a minefield littered with deception and frauds.
"I tell my members to meet in person as soon as possible, go for a coffee in the park, or on the High Street, to find out if the other person is legitimate."
"I tell my members to meet in person as soon as possible, go for a coffee in the park, or on the High Street, to find out if the other person is legitimate."
Filtering out dating cheats was also behind the creation of Cherry dating.
Filtering out dating cheats was also behind the creation of Cherry dating.
It's the brainchild of Jo Mason, a City of London banker who tired of counterfeit profiles on dating sites.
It's the brainchild of Jo Mason, a City of London banker who tired of counterfeit profiles on dating sites.
"You look at profiles on these sites and ask yourself 'is this person real?'. You have to be like a private investigator researching people's profiles before you connect."
"You look at profiles on these sites and ask yourself 'is this person real?'. You have to be like a private investigator researching people's profiles before you connect."
She lists the ways in which online dating lets people down. "Some people just want a fictitious romance but have no intention of ever meeting you. Or they're married, or just want an online relationship."
She lists the ways in which online dating lets people down. "Some people just want a fictitious romance but have no intention of ever meeting you. Or they're married, or just want an online relationship."
Catfishing, the tactic of luring victims into a relationship using fake images or status, comes in lots of forms. "The lower end of catfishing just uses a 10-year-old photo. But some people may not look like their photo at all, or be a completely different person."
Catfishing, the tactic of luring victims into a relationship using fake images or status, comes in lots of forms. "The lower end of catfishing just uses a 10-year-old photo. But some people may not look like their photo at all, or be a completely different person."
Turning to technology to defeat virtual scams, Cherry Dating uses software matching to compare a selfie alongside a driving licence or passport to verify that each of its members are authentic.
Turning to technology to defeat virtual scams, Cherry Dating uses software matching to compare a selfie alongside a driving licence or passport to verify that each of its members are authentic.
Quite a few prospective members baulk at the ID check and don't proceed onto the site. It's an approach that chimes with Mason's professional background in finance. "Big banks use this kind of approach to spot anomalies in accounts."
Quite a few prospective members baulk at the ID check and don't proceed onto the site. It's an approach that chimes with Mason's professional background in finance. "Big banks use this kind of approach to spot anomalies in accounts."
Cherry Dating questions users to score them for compatibility, which can then allow them to make an informed choice about whether to link up with another person. "If you're 80% compatible that's good, you don't waste time with someone who's 5% compatible."
Cherry Dating questions users to score them for compatibility, which can then allow them to make an informed choice about whether to link up with another person. "If you're 80% compatible that's good, you don't waste time with someone who's 5% compatible."
Research commissioned by Mason indicates that 47% of British respondents feel no dating app meets their needs, while 40% say dating apps have decreased their motivation to meet someone.
Research commissioned by Mason indicates that 47% of British respondents feel no dating app meets their needs, while 40% say dating apps have decreased their motivation to meet someone.
Meanwhile, Sumsub, which sells services to counter fraud, polled 2,000 UK dating app users and found another culprit, with 54% of the poll respondents confessing to using AI to spice up their own online profile.
Meanwhile, Sumsub, which sells services to counter fraud, polled 2,000 UK dating app users and found another culprit, with 54% of the poll respondents confessing to using AI to spice up their own online profile.
polled 2,000 UKJocelyn Penque, a UK-based Texan dating coach and founder of Dating Classroom, has been trying to resolve this confused picture of profiles containing false information and AI interventions.
Jocelyn Penque, a UK-based Texan dating coach and founder of Dating Classroom, has been trying to resolve this confused picture of profiles containing false information and AI interventions.
"I coach people about their strategies," says Penque, "my target audience are people who've been successful but have not prioritised relationships."
"I coach people about their strategies," says Penque, "my target audience are people who've been successful but have not prioritised relationships."
With a background in the tech sector she's not against online dating, citing a happy family connection back in Texas, "my father is 79 and he met his girlfriend through Our Time, a dating app for older people."
With a background in the tech sector she's not against online dating, citing a happy family connection back in Texas, "my father is 79 and he met his girlfriend through Our Time, a dating app for older people."
Just as interest-specific sites are more likely to be successful according to Penque, so are age-related ones.
Just as interest-specific sites are more likely to be successful according to Penque, so are age-related ones.
And AI has its place in Penque's world. "A lot of people aren't good at expressing themselves, so Copilot or ChatGPT are useful if you don't like writing."
And AI has its place in Penque's world. "A lot of people aren't good at expressing themselves, so Copilot or ChatGPT are useful if you don't like writing."
As ever with AI, using imprecise instructions can end in tears. "Your prompts must be focused on what really matters, what your values are. So tell Copilot if you want a serious relationship and would like to have a family."
As ever with AI, using imprecise instructions can end in tears. "Your prompts must be focused on what really matters, what your values are. So tell Copilot if you want a serious relationship and would like to have a family."
Penque's answer is to draw a budding relationship away from screens as soon as possible. Hence she took a small group of her clients to the Azores for a few days in May.
Penque's answer is to draw a budding relationship away from screens as soon as possible. Hence she took a small group of her clients to the Azores for a few days in May.
Around 1,000 miles into the ocean from Portugal these islands offer opportunities for whale-watching and productive introspection on how to find the right partner.
Around 1,000 miles into the ocean from Portugal these islands offer opportunities for whale-watching and productive introspection on how to find the right partner.
"We were sitting in the middle of the Atlantic, it's a completely different space, it's much easier for them to think about new possibilities there." This geographical remoteness was about as far from peering into a screen as could be.
"We were sitting in the middle of the Atlantic, it's a completely different space, it's much easier for them to think about new possibilities there." This geographical remoteness was about as far from peering into a screen as could be.
And her own experience of ghosting in real life is shocking.
And her own experience of ghosting in real life is shocking.
"I went out for a drink with a guy. We seemed to get along, but when he said he was going up to the bar he didn't come back."
"I went out for a drink with a guy. We seemed to get along, but when he said he was going up to the bar he didn't come back."
She asked the barman if he'd seen her date leave. His answer came as a blow. "I know him, he's been coming her for three years and doing that."
She asked the barman if he'd seen her date leave. His answer came as a blow. "I know him, he's been coming her for three years and doing that."
Whatever its limitations, AI hasn't learnt to treat people that poorly. Yet.
Whatever its limitations, AI hasn't learnt to treat people that poorly. Yet.
